Summing up 2020. There's really only one keynote.

December is here, Christmas has exploded across windows and lawns, and it's hitting that "time to reflect". Except I can't quite do it. I've tried to reflect on 2020, tried to create a list of my positives to share with you, but keep I stalling. I hit the things which I couldn’t do, I couldn't complete, and I can't quite see when they will happen.

This isn't depressing though; it's about a lightbulb moment, so stick with me and see if you agree.

The negatives are so close to the positives

It's been A Year, let's agree on that. Pandemic, massive responses to racial injustices, wildfires, Brexit, explosions, Presidential elections, we've all had very varying experiences, which we've all been differently equipped to handle. 

I feel broadly blessed for many reasons, but when I pause to look at my own 2020, for each "Daily walks with my husband have been really rewarding" my brain pops up "You missed going out and dancing with friends". I feel proud that I not only kept PJ rolling, but also picked up great opportunities like Bowbot Gifts. Flipside is that some of my business goals, which should have been easier to achieve with fewer "distractions" I just couldn't fit into my headspace.

Whenever I've started to write a list of my personal positives from 2020, those negatives insidiously sidle in. They're unavoidable, as they're so often linked to the positives in some way, and although I'm already aware of them, I really don't want to bring them to the fore. You may be able to partition better, or be in a better place to inspect those negatives, but personally, I'm not quite ready.

2020 is one year inside a whole period of history

I suspect you'll understand my lightbulb moment.

I realised earlier this week that although we're reaching the end of a calendar year, we're only partway through a period of time which still has a while left to run. This will be a period in history which goes from mid 2019 to some point in 2021 (and well beyond in terms of repercussions). It can be really difficult to reflect on your experiences during something which isn't over yet. And that realisation led me to a second one.

You're still here

Getting to this point in 2020 is a massive win.

​Really, whatever has or hasn't been flung at you in 2020, you're still here, and that win is so huge after this year it's almost all that needs chalking up. For now, we may all benefit from leaving aside the end of year introspection, and just embrace our continued existence​, and value whatever gets us through the day to day. ​